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Glistening grass
So I said I would write about the ups and downs of depression and today feels like today is a good day and I somehow I feel lifted. I was driving my children to school and ended up behind an annoying truck which was going quite a lot below the speed limit, but instead of feeling frustration I just found myself sitting back in my chair. I could feel the sun on my face and it was warm and comforting. This morning is one of those dewy mornings where it looks beautiful and sunny outside but when you step out it feels chilly. You can see the dew glisten on the grass because it is slightly wet. The sky is a gorgeous powdery blue and there is only a sprinkling of clouds so you know it is going to be gorgeous later on.
So I was sat behind this truck and slowed down and the long grass along the side of the road just caught my eye. It was glistening and glittering in the sun as we were driving along and swaying as we went past. I don't know why but today I just looked at it differently. This is the same journey I do every day. I have read lots of mindfulness articles and they talk about stopping and really taking in your surroundings, but I have never really been able to do that and I didn't know how. My mind is always racing and I can't switch off. But today I actually managed to do it without even trying.
We spend our lives rushing around to get from A to B, every day, the same route. But do we ever really see it, see the detail? We don't take the time to take in our surroundings. I just started to notice all the little things. The car in front went through a big puddle and the water splashed out and it was like it was in slow motion. A bird swooped across in front of me and then I noticed how tall trees are, how beautiful the trees are. They were just waving in the wind and I can see the sun shining over them and it is almost like I can see them enjoying the warmth of the sun.
I know this all sounds a bit crazy but that drive, that journey, for that moment I just got it. I don't know when it will happen again and I am pretty sure I will be too busy and too stressed to take it in again, but for that moment I managed to do it and it was amazing.