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And so it begins...
As far back as I can remember I wanted to be a teacher. I was described as bossy at a young age and was filled with big dreams of changing the world. Finally in my 30's that dream became a reality. I say that like it was easy, but it was far from it. I knew teacher training would be hard work and you see in the media all the time about how horrendous 'teacher workload' is, but you are so motivated by the passion to inspire children that it doesn't stop you from chasing your dream. But nothing can really prepare you for it. The weight of the responsibility, the hours, the workload, the pressure.
To cut a long story short I found myself some years into my teaching career with a sick note in my hand to be signed off work with stress. It hit me like a tonne of bricks. How did I get here? How did this happen? How could all my hard work, hopes and dreams end up here? I won't for now go into the full story of how and why I came to be at this point; but as alone and isolated as I feel, I know that sadly there are many other teachers out there are going through or have been through what I am. The facts are out there in black and white; of those who qualified in 2011 alone, 31% had quit within the first five years of becoming a teacher. This is heartbreaking... I never thought I would be off with stress and am desperate not to become one of those statistics but to be honest I just don't know what the future holds.
But whatever happens I know that it will involve helping, supporting and inspiring children in some way because that is at the heart of everything I do and what I am passionate about.
I am going to try and promise myself that even if I am feeling down and negative it is ok to air it and write about it, but I want to try and end with something positive. It is too easy to slip into the shadows and watch the days melt away. I have to try and reach out... 'better things are coming...'